OH YEAH, THEY’RE STILL MAKING A FOURTH ‘TRANSFORMERS’ MOVIE
Aside from a few geniunely enjoyable moments scattered across three films, the Transformers franchise is a blight on humanity. This series basically exists for three reasons : 1.) to indulge Michael Bay’s military fetishism and masturbatory compulsion to blow the living shit out of city blocks, 2.) to accelerate the sexual awakening of ADD-addled 13-year-olds with just the right amount of camera pans over Megan Fox’s sweaty tits, and 3.) to sell toys, and lots of ‘em.
Hasbro has always had a big stake in the Transformers movies, but their involvement, as well as their sales goals for spinoff toys weren’t front and center in years past. Not so now, as the CEO of Hasbro, Brian Goldner publicly addressed attendees at something called the UBS Best Of Americas 2012 Conference, and flat-out told them that toy sales from Transformers: Dark of the Moon weren’t good enough:
You know, I kind of admire this guy’s honesty. George Lucas populated the prequels and The Clone Wars series with 8,000 different variations of Clone Troopers, but would never in a million years publicly admit he was doing it to sell more toys. At least this guy Goldner is brazenly telling us right to our faces that the reason this new Transformers movie is going to have new characters is because they want us to buy more hunks of plastic assembled by Chinese slave labor. Well played, Mr. Goldner. Well played.
By the way, that logo at the top of the article is the official “temp logo” for the film, which has a tentative release date of June 27th, 2014.
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