ALL OF THE DIFFERENT ENDINGS FOR THE NEW ‘HOBBIT’ TRAILER IN ONE CONVENIENT CLIP

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Apparently the new Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey trailer that hit the Internets yesterday has five different end “tags,” that vary depending on what version you are watching. They are all comedic and lighthearted, which goes a long way towards appeasing Tolkien purists who were fearful that the film would try to be, for lack of a better term, too Lord of the Rings-ish, and stray too far from its children’s book roots.

I think my favorite “stinger” is the one where Bilbo has penis envy feels inadequate when Gandalf is presented with his elven sword Glamdring the foe hammer, and a Dwarf compares Bilbo’s elven dagger Sting to a “letter opener.” You’ve got to admire Peter Jackson for turning this sequence into a Middle-Earth dick-measuring contest. Here’s a video of all five different Hobbit trailer tags:
 

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Jeff Carter

Jeff is the defining voice of his generation. Sadly, that generation exists only in an alternate dimension where George Lucas became supreme overlord of the Earth in 1979 and replaced every television broadcast and theatrical film on the planet with Star Wars and Godzilla movies. In this dimension, he’s just a guy from New England who likes writing snarky things about superheroes, monsters, and robots.