We knew it was coming when Disney bought Star Wars: the radical ’90s-era after school special in space, also known as Star Wars Rebels.
There will be lots of the titular freedom fighters to root for against the Empire, but the series will focus on the six-member ragtag crew of a freighter called The Ghost. Let’s run down the principle characters, shall we?
Tough! No-nonsense! She’s the owner of this rig and that ought to make her the captain, but Hera’s billed in the character intro as the pilot of the Ghost. (Possibly because Jedi-kinda-sorta Kanan is apparently supposed to be the show’s leader and focal point. We already covered him in a previous article.) Hera appears to be essentially Han Solo with better hair and worse ship naming abilities. Also, she’s a Twi’lek. Hooray for nonhuman visibility!
Every science fiction show needs a stupid teen to raise up right. It makes them look like a better family, and Star Wars is all about family. Ezra is that teen. Absent Luke Skywalker, he will be a convenient young person with whom the Force is strong and who requires the guidance of older, wiser, cooler kids. This is a predictable decision for a show meant to appeal to a demographic that is young, but just a smidge too old for Lego Star Wars.
Oh, hi, shaved British Chewie!
As a rebel Mandalorian, Sabine is also something of a lost child, so it’s a safe guess that she’s the Leia character in this little recreation. As to whether she gets to hook up with Han this time, well, I give it short odds. This being a cool show for cool kids, she does graffiti all over the ship and dyes her hair pink. I’m sure she also skateboards or snowboards or surfs or something. Someone mentioned that her character is “hip.” Unfortunately, I think “hip” pretty much sums up this entire show.
Finally, just what the galaxy needed: an even bigger asshole astromech than R2.
Initially, I kind of wondered if they’d write R2-D2 into this version – granted, he’s supposed to be on the Tantive IV with Raymus Antilles during this time frame (between Episodes III-IV), but considering that the production team is basically recreating the entire team from A New Hope in horrific marketing-vision, it seems weird that they should be too too worried about the particulars. But then again, R2 is way too wise and experienced for this crowd. He would harsh their buzz.
The weirdest fan theory I ever heard about R2-D2 was that the Force was strong with him. Initially that sounded kind of nuts, but as I watched and re-watched the original three episodes, it made a smidge of sense. By Phantom Menace, I was invested enough in the notion of robot Jedi to be really, really disappointed in the whole midichlorians thing. That story has nothing to do with Chopper, but I thought I’d share anyway.