Let’s face it kids, if we were to do a poll of all the fans of the AMC TV hit, The Walking Dead, approximately 99 and 44/100ths percent of them would vote for Daryl Dixon as their number one zombie apocalypse survivor. Okay, perhaps that is a bit high of a percentage, but you get my drift. Daryl is the be all and end all of The Walking Dead. Which is rather ironic considering he is the one major character of the show who has never been in the comic from which the show is adapted. So, basically this list is going to be a list of those Walking Dead characters who invariably come in second, third, fourth, and so on, to one Mr. Daryl Dixon. But before we get started, I would like to shout out a big ole “I’m sorry!” to Tyreese, Dale, and especially Beth. Sorry guys, but I had to make the cut somewhere. And to Lori and Andrea – I never really liked you guys all that much anyway. So let’s get on with the list. Oh, and for those of you that still haven’t seen the show (are there really any of you out there still!?) there be spoilers a-plenty ahead. So you’ve been warned.
And awaaaaaaay we go…[divider]
Yeah, he’s a gigantic asshole, but he does kick some major ass in his time on the show. Sure, he shot Otis in the leg and left him as walker bait, but hey, I would have done the same thing. His number one goal was save Carl, and if he didn’t make it back to the farm, Carl would have died. Okay, he tried to kill Rick because he wanted to have Lori all to himself, and that was a real dick move, but the guy did protect Lori while Rick was off having a nap, and maybe he deserved the little sumpin’ sumpin’ he got from the gal. Okay, maybe not, but he did kick a lot of ass, and got that whole barn situation taken care of. Now am I the only one who thinks Judith looks a lot like Shane? Yeah, I went there.[divider]
Yeah, I know, I know. At first this obnoxious little brat was everyone’s number one choice for most “I-hope-he-gets-killed-soon” character, myself included. But ya know what? The little shit kinda grows on ya. At least he grew on me. I mean, this kid has been through a lot. He had to kill his own mom, and he had to take care of his dad when he was seeing ghosts. Carl has deserved his rise in respectability. Hell, he even had the balls to hit on Beth. Going from idiot child to real live ass-kicking member of the group in season three, Carl is now old enough (and un-obnoxious enough) to make this list. Hey, and he loves pudding too.[divider]
There was a moment in season three, where I’m pretty sure I heard an audible gasp, and voices from around the world screaming in unison, “No! Not T-Dog!!” At first T-Dog (like Daryl, he has no counterpart in the comic) was a minor, criminally underused character, but when the shit hit the fan, T-Dog stepped up and became the man. I gotta say though, it was kind of annoying that when the show’s writers finally gave poor T-Dog more to do, they immediately killed him off. Bastards. But hey, he died saving Carol, so my man did go out a hero. We miss ya T-Dog.[divider]
Okay, he’s a born leader, but sometimes the guy gets a little, shall we say, distracted by the ghost of his dead wife. And maybe sometimes he falls into a coma, and misses the entire beginning of the zombie apocalypse. And the sometimes he falls into another coma (or something like that) and has to be taken care of by his son. And sometimes he gets in shouting matches with a one-eyed sociopath, and ends up causing his whole group to lose their comfy prison home. And then sometimes he stupidly befriends an obvious whack-a-doodle he finds living in the woods, with her boyfriend’s head in a bag. And sometimes he wastes day after day being a farmer instead of the leader he was born to be. Okay, maybe he isn’t that great of a leader after all. No seriously, he actually is a really good leader, just watch out for him talking to his dead wife’s ghost. It’s kinda creepy.[divider]
6.) The Governor
The poor guy just wanted to keep his little girl safe. Michonne had no reason to do what she did. The Governor’s a good guy. He built a community where he kept people safe. Well except for when he stabbed Milton and left Andrea for dead, or when he pitted brother against brother in a ring of walkers, or when he attacked the prison…twice. Okay, who the hell am I kidding? The guy is an out and out psychopath, but isn’t that why we love the guy? No? Well, it’s why I love the guy (I own just one action figure from the show – guess who it is). He is an eye-patch-wearing, bad-ass mofo, and I wouldn’t want him any other way.[divider]
5.) Glenn & Maggie, aka Gleggie
The hottest couple in the Zombie Apocalypse should rightfully share a spot here – plus it’s a great way to sneak in a top eleven. Glenn was fun and all that before hooking up with the hot farmer’s daughter (he did save Rick’s ass in the first episode), but after their tryst in the pharmacy, he became that much cooler, and together these guys are enough to give everyone hope for the future. Their search to find each other after the prison went down, and everyone was separated, is a quest for the proverbial ages. Maggie and Glenn (a couple so hot that they even get their own Bennifer-esque portmanteau) are both kick-ass on their own (remember when Glenn was tied to that chair and took down that walker, or when everyone was sick and Mags was cuttin’ down walkers left and right?) but together – they fucking rock![divider]
Sure, when dirty deeds need done, ya get Daryl Dixon to do ’em. But when Daryl ain’t around, the best place to go is to good ole Carol. She started out as an abused wife, then became a grieving mother, the sometime around there, she turned into a kick-as warrior woman who would do anything that needed to be done, in order to protect those she loved and cared for. It’s kill or be killed for Carol Peletier – and this guy wouldn’t want it any other way. And she’s hot too. Hell, just look at what the poor girl has had to do. She deserves to be on this list – and high up as well. Plus she seems to have gotten a little Daryl action on the side as well. You go girl.[divider]
In the early episodes it was wizened old Dale that acted as the moral center of the show (though he was kind of a douche at times), but after he got gutted like a goddamn fish, the group needed a new moral compass on which to rely, and that guy became old Reverend Hershel Greene. Sure, at first Hershel was in a big ole bag of denial, but after the barn incident, and the ensuing chaos that sprung up from that, as well as losing his leg (oh man), Hershel changed his tune and became one of the most important people in the group. An importance that was emphasized by his daring to go into the quarantined and infested prison cell block. Even after losing his head (man, oh man) it was the memory of Hershel that helped many of the splintered survivors carry on. Hell, even Daryl called him one tough sonofabitch. Didjya ever notice that if you were to combine the eye-patched Governor and the peg-legged Hershel, you would have mighty fine zombie killer.[divider]
Come on people! Ya know ya love some Merle Dixon. Ya know ya do. Yeah, he may have been a redneck racist who would just as soon kill ya as look atchya, but when the chips were down, he was a good guy to have at your back. This one-handed mofo (hey, we could combine him with the Guv and Hersh, to make the ultimate Walking Dead pirate!) not only saved his brother’s life, but also came to the rescue of Rick and the others when it came down to it all. Yeah, yeah, he beat the living crap outta Glenn, and then tied him to a chair and let a walker loose on him, but hey, he’s a good guy. Right? He did go out a hero though. So there.[divider]
So, if ya take Daryl out of the equation, that really only leaves one viable kick-ass candidate for the top spot – and that one kick-ass candidate has just got to be the lady with the dreads, the katana blade, and a coupla armless, jawless walkers in chains. One of the most popular characters in both the comics and the TV show, Michonne is the balls-out samurai of the zombie apocalypse – and she gave the governor that kick-ass piratey eye-patch by putting that aforementioned katana blade through his little girl’s undead head. This bitch is bad, baby! Hey, and she collects comic books for Carl too. How cool is that?
That’s it gang. See ya ’round the web.