It just keeps happening; Michael Bay out Bays himself over and over. This new trailer for his latest entry into the never-ending cycle of incredibly unlikable and poorly written human characters vs. giant masses of CGI blades with objects vaguely resembling mouths and eyes delivers a level of mass destruction that makes the Superman/Zod battle in Man Of Steel look like two toddlers knocking over some Lego bricks.
An evil Transformer sprouts a gun barrel 10 yards long from inside his face, clown car-style. Someone gets hit in the face with a burning car tire. There’s a Transformer who looks like a dwarf from Lord of the Rings, complete with a BEARD and a metal cigar. Optimus Prime wields a sword and rides on a steel, fire-breathing dinosaur. Oh, and I’m pretty sure A Transformer salvages the wreck of the Titanic and drops it on a city. Mark Wahlberg hyperventilates, runs through ash, and delivers lines like “I don’t think this is a truck, I think this is a Transformah!” All impossibly ludicrous things that none of us will admit to shelling out 12 bucks to see, but we all will anyway.