Author Jeff Carter

Jeff Carter

Jeff is the defining voice of his generation. Sadly, that generation exists only in an alternate dimension where George Lucas became supreme overlord of the Earth in 1979 and replaced every television broadcast and theatrical film on the planet with Star Wars and Godzilla movies. In this dimension, he’s just a guy from New England who likes writing snarky things about superheroes, monsters, and robots.

Features
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10 GOOD THINGS ABOUT…THE STAR WARS PREQUELS

As a life-long Star Wars fan, I decided to try to counter all this hater-ade drinking by taking on the challenge of compiling a list of at least ten genuinely awesome things about the Star Wars Prequels. I actually came up with a whopping twelve scenes/moments, before trimming it to the aforementioned ten.

Reviews
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MOVIE REVIEW – ‘SKYLINE’

The Strause brothers deliver some truly spectacular special effects in this movie, but they do nothing to detract from the bland stock characters spouting terribly written disaster movie cliché dialogue.

Reviews
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MOVIE REVIEW – ‘STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS’

I have absolutely no clue what happened to George in the decade between Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and The Phantom Menace, but somewhere along the line he decided that what movie audiences really wanted to see were horrific Asian, Arab, and Jamaican stereotypes in the guise of aliens.

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MOVIE REVIEW – ‘SPIDER-MAN 3’

It’s not that Spider-Man 3 is a terrible movie, but watching it is like getting drunk and sleeping with a good friend that you’ve known for years, then waking up the next morning to that unspoken, incredibly uncomfortable awkwardness. You both know that things got weird.

Reviews
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MOVIE REVIEW – ‘GHOST RIDER’

There are some cool special effects sequences, and if you’ve ever read Marvel Comics it is a treat to see Ghost Rider whip his chain around and ride his flaming motorcycle on-screen, but beyond that there is nothing redeeming here. Like Joel Schumacher, Mark Steven Johnson should never be allowed near another comic book adaptation ever again.

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MOVIE REVIEW – ‘SMOKIN’ ACES’

Not to say that Smokin’ Aces is a bad movie, it’s actually a lot of fun, but it’s a meal that suffers from too many cooks dropping things in the pot and one very unpalatable ingredient that overwhelms the entire dish.

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MOVIE REVIEW – ‘SUPERMAN RETURNS’

Bryan Singer has given us all a film that can make you feel nine years old again, sitting in front of the 19″ Zenith with a red towel wrapped around your neck, waiting to see Christopher Reeve’s beaming smile as he swooped in out of nowhere to rescue Lois from the crashed helicopter.

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